


Reception

by rochi



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drunk Sex, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mention of Ohno/Nino, Sexuality Issues, Smut, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 03:22:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13332420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rochi/pseuds/rochi
Summary: Sho loves Nino. Nino knows. Events between Nino and Sho set in specific years.





	Reception

**Author's Note:**

> Focuses on Sho and Nino with mentions of Ohno, Aiba, and Jun. Some events are based on stuff that happened irl. A huge thank you to S, K, and J for their suggestions and corrections!! ♥♥♥ Also posted on [livejournal](https://rochiii.livejournal.com/5898.html).

**2000**

Sho and Nino were wrestling on the floor– it wasn't a serious fight, just play between two boys.

They were rolling, Nino's high-pitched giggles springing suddenly about. _Finally, a chance_ , Sho thought as he managed to grab both of Nino's wrists. Pinning him to the floor, Sho took in a deep breath as he looked at Nino.

Nino was flushed, laughing with his eyes squeezed shut. His shoulders shook and he struggled weakly until he finally gave in and settled on his back. “I lost,” he said breathlessly, a grin still on his face.

 _How pretty_ , Sho thought. Nino's lips were shiny with lip gloss. Sho remembered how he had watched the make-up artist put it on Nino earlier. He had wanted to be the one to put it on Nino himself, with his own lips even, though he doubted that would even transfer it.

To make it simple, Sho had wanted to kiss Nino.

“Sho-kun?” Nino questioned as he looked at Sho, who hadn't yet loosened his grip on him.

“Ah– Sorry, Nino.” Sho drew back and stood, offering his hand to Nino. Nino took it and stood up as well. _Shit, I was a bit obvious,_ he thought.

“The others are taking so long with this shoot,” Nino complained to Sho. Both of them were in the green room, waiting for the others to wrap up filming their parts for their new promotional video. Nino brought out his game console and started to play. Sho brought out his textbook, wanting to catch up on lessons now that Nino wasn't playing with him anymore.

Nino was cute. Sho forgot how they got closer, but now it had become a usual thing for Nino to be near him. He was quite affectionate and touchy. In a way, Sho was touchy with him too. At some point, Sho had realized that he actually liked Nino. He didn't accept it at first however, and was still a bit in denial now.

 _No, no, no, no_ , Sho repeated in his head as he remembered the sight of Nino under him a while ago.

 _I don't like him, I don't. He's cute but I don't like him_ , he recited to himself. It was bad enough that his parents didn't approve of him being an idol and how he still had to balance school with work, so he didn't need these feelings over Nino.

 _I like girls,_ girls _, not boys._

Nino moved even closer to him on the couch, his side sticking to Sho’s.

 _Shit_.

 

**2004**

Sho had realized he liked both men and women. He was more attracted to men but hardly ever dated them, choosing to date women instead. He hadn't really accepted himself.

However, he had come around to accept his feelings about Nino. He supposed it was due to him feeling less stress when it came to work and studies. But even if he had accepted his feelings, he still didn't quite get to take action on them.

It had been five years since Arashi was formed and though their sales could've been better, they were doing okay enough to continue on as a group.

It was concert season. Nino was sick and he had to be in and out of the hospital to get treated. Sho was worried—all of them were—as Nino continued to work even though he was having a hard time.

At their stop at Nagoya, Nino and Sho shared a room.

Aiba was filming Sho as part of the videos they were going to give to a variety show they would soon appear on. Sho was enthusiastically talking on the way to the room. He was thinking Nino might have already been asleep since he didn't join the party and returned to their room early.

Upon entering he found Nino asleep, as well as Ohno. They were sharing one futon, hugging each other snuggly.

Sho felt a bit of a sting in his heart. Ohno and Nino being touchy and super close was already a normal sight for him and the rest of the members.

Still, it didn't mean it didn't hurt.

Sho mentioned they were filming for a variety show and the two parted, Ohno switching futons. In a hurry, Sho reported it to Jun who was in another room. Aiba and Ohno followed him there while Nino remained in the room, getting more rest.

After the small incident was over and he got enough footage, Sho returned to their room, trying to be as quiet as possible so as not to disturb Nino.

But it seemed like Nino was waiting for him.

“Sho-chan,” Nino called softly from his futon.

“Hey, Nino. Are you okay?”

“Still sick but I can take it.”

Sho knew he could, but he still wished he didn't work through it.

“Oh. Uh, why was Satoshi-kun with you?”

“Sorry, I got lonely. It was still pretty cold under here too.”

“Is it cold still?”

Nino nodded. Sho was about to speak, to ask, _Want me to keep you warm?,_ but hesitated and decided not to. “Nino–” He was about to offer him an extra blanket when Nino lifted up the covers.

“Sleep here?”

Sho immediately nodded.

Nino had always been the more courageous one when it came to the two of them.

 

**2007**

Everything was orange. It was near sunset, Sho was staring fondly at Nino. Nino was very pretty, Sho thought.

A shout from the director got Sho back to reality. “Ok, that's good. We're going to film for real in 5 minutes.”

 _Ah, that's right_. Sho remembered that he was filming Yamada Taro Monogatari with Nino.

It was easy for him to get lost in staring at Nino during filming. It was easy for him to look fondly at Nino because he really liked him. Sho was hardly acting really; he was just being honest.

Sho thought he was doing well, considering the director didn't say anything about his gazes and stares. When he watched an episode however— the one where Nino wore a maid outfit because of course he had wanted to see it again— he thought his stares may have been a bit much.

“It's almost as if you're looking at someone you like for real,” Nino lightly said, stretching out his arms.

Sho was surprised by the statement but was ultimately distracted by Nino stretching. He looked from where Nino's uniform was tucked in his slacks and then upwards, his eyes diverting when he saw Nino smirking at him.

“You’re being ridiculous, Nino,” Sho quietly replied, standing up to approach the director.

He had to do better to hide it.

 

**2010**

As they were leaving the studio, Sho spotted Nino looking at his palm. Sho looked at his own, remembering what the palm reader in their Utaban guesting had said about them.

The palm reader had said a certain line related to communication was also found in entertainers who were gay and he considered, well, he was bisexual but it was still pretty close.

He glanced at Nino. _How about him?_ he thought to himself.

“You okay?” Sho finally dared to ask as Nino whipped his head to his direction, surprise on his face.

“Um, yeah. Just thinking.”

 _When was he not_ , Sho thought. Nino had always been a quick thinker when it came to his responses and actions. However, that palm reading had caught him by surprise, showing on his face evidently. Sho, on the other hand, had laughed the reading off.

Suddenly Nino spoke. “It can't be out, huh? That kind of thing.”

Sho was also a quick thinker, knowing immediately what Nino was talking about. “It could be, but it will be troublesome to deal with.”

Nino nodded. “You like men too right?”

“I like women still, but yeah, I like men too.” It slipped off from his tongue easily. If it was a love confession to Nino, it would have been very different but this was just a piece of knowledge about him, one thing to know out of many, and something he was sure of now.

Nino stared at Sho. Sho could see a tiny bit of hope in his face, a change from the worried expression he had been wearing earlier.

“Me too,” Nino admitted, his features softening further, a small smile forming on his lips.

“I'm glad I'm not alone then,” Sho said as he patted Nino shoulder.

It wasn't something they ever talked about, though he had an inkling of it. Fooling around with colleagues or even your band mates was something usual, though it was sometimes just for a release. He had heard about Nino hooking up with certain people, saw how affectionate Nino could get with men or just Ohno. It was a hint. Nino also seemed to notice it about him.

Knowing they were similar made him happy.

He didn’t know if Nino felt the same way about him however.

 

**2015**

_Miyagi was fun_ , Sho thought to himself. He was drunk, had a bit too much during the Yakai filming in his hotel room.

He was walking down the corridor and stopped by one of the doors.

“Nino,” he slurred out. He knocked on the door, wondering whether it would be opened.

The door opened, revealing a flushed, heavily breathing Nino. Aiba was nowhere in sight; Sho assumed they must have finished drinking already.

Sho looked down, seeing Nino was still wearing those ridiculously tight camouflage shorts. Nino was pulling his shirt down, and Sho leaned in, his eyebrow raised, noticing Nino was hiding an erection.

“S-sho-chan, what is it?” Flustered, Nino tried to tug on his shirt even more.

“I just... wanted to visit. Filming is over.” Sho entered the room, eyes still on Nino's crotch.

“Oh.” Nino closed the door behind him, and Sho went straight down the bed.

“Were you masturbating?” Sho asked, back facing Nino. Sho took in the smell of Nino's sheets.

“Huh?” Nino was surprised, taking a while to process what Sho said.

“Sorry, I disturbed you.”

“No, it's okay… and yeah, I was, yeah.” Nino was flustered, still hiding his erection.

“I can help you with that if you're okay with it.” Sho moved to lean on the headboard of the bed.

Nino agreed and soon found himself lying on the bed, arms pinned down by Sho, who was on top of him.

Nino was flushed, mouth open and eyes unfocused, taking in Sho as much as he could.

“Pretty,” Sho mumbled out, vaguely remembering that 15 years ago, he also had Nino under him. They were older now, and Sho was a bit stronger, especially with alcohol in his system.

“Come on, Sho-chan.” Nino laughed at the compliment and urged Sho to go on.

It wasn't the first time they had sex. It was a form of release when there was no one else for Nino. Sho, however, knew it meant differently for himself.

Sho would always keep his eyes on Nino's face, to know whether he was doing well, whether he was providing the pleasure Nino needed.

Nino would initiate kisses while they were doing it, and Sho cherished each, considered them as rewards for doing a good job. Nino would also be vocal with his praises, moaning and mewling as well as directly saying how good Sho made him feel.

Every compliment made Sho happy, made him try harder to please Nino.

But Sho remembered that it was a moment that could be over quickly, leaving him uncertain as to whether it could happen again in the future.

Sho stopped mid-thrust, Nino whining in answer as he opened his eyes slowly. Nino stared at Sho, raising his hand to lightly touch Sho’s cheek.

“Sho-chan, you okay?” Nino said quietly.

Nino's hand was warm.

The alcohol had gotten to Sho, making him feel tenfold the feelings he could easily conceal while sober.

Sho wasn't okay, and it showed on his face. Nino was perceptive of everything; there's no chance he wouldn't notice it.

Sho remained quiet, just staring at Nino with an expression like he was about to cry.

“Sorry, I just remembered something. Sorry, I'll continue.” And Sho did, thrusting in harder, this time lowering himself and planting kisses along Nino's neck to avoid looking at Nino's face.

Nino grabbed onto Sho’s hair, screaming in pleasure because of Sho’s increased pace.

Soon enough, both of them climaxed, just laying on the bed.

“Want to talk about it Sho-chan?” Nino said, playing with the come on his stomach, spreading it between his fingers.

“That's gross, stop that.” Sho swatted at Nino's fingers.

Nino laughed low from his throat. When they had been young, Sho had heard it a lot more and had found it boyish. It would spring up once in a while and Sho thought it usually meant Nino found something genuinely funny.

Sho didn't know why Nino found playing with his come so funny but he _was_ a pretty weird guy.

Nino was sillier when he was with Sho and Sho smiled at the thought. Perhaps Nino didn’t feel the need to be reserved or serious because Sho was there fulfill that role. Nino had always been able to easily adjust to situations and people.

“Nino,” Sho finally spoke, feeling Nino's gaze at him.

“Hm?”

“Why do we do this?”

“Because sex is fun,” Nino said lightly.

“Fun. Right,” Sho affirmed. That really was all it is. Just fun for Nino. Supposedly just fun for Sho too, but it wasn't. “Fun is over then.” Sho got up and started to dress, his back facing Nino.

“I’m sorry, Sho-chan,” came Nino's voice from the bed.

“It's fine, Nino.”

It really wasn't.

“Sho,” Nino was serious, Sho sensed. He didn’t call him _Sho-chan_ after all.

Sho faced Nino.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Nino asked again.

 _So it was a sincere question_. It was hard to know when Nino was being honest sometimes.

“You already know don't you? That I like you.” Sho spoke flatly, trying to hide how he felt. What he felt specifically, he couldn't identify. Was he irritated at Nino for asking? Was he afraid of what this conversation will make of their dynamic? Was he sad because he already knew how this conversation will end?

“I know.” Nino was staring directly at him.

Sho took a deep breath and then exhaled. Was he really going to do this? Was he really going to confirm it?

“Do you feel the same way?” Sho asked a little quieter.

Nino's face looked worried, almost pitiful.

“I don't.”

Sho gave a little chuckle, then a pained smile. “Then there’s nothing else to discuss. Just having this— sex is enough.”

Sho loves Nino, and Nino knew that. Nino doesn’t feel the same way— he probably never will— but Nino was accommodating. He probably even pitied Sho.

If Sho looked at it from a different view, Nino was just taking advantage of his feelings, was just toying with him.

But whether Nino’s intention was good or bad, Sho didn’t mind.

Because the truth was, Sho would grasp at any chance to feel like Nino loved him too.

**Author's Note:**

> Starting the year off with... a sad fic, sorry lol. Hoping to post more fic this year! Thank you for reading! ♥


End file.
